Whether it’s sloppy, sweet, romantic or awkward, there’s something about your first kiss that you’ll never forget. Lindy*, a 28-year-old from Perth spoke to us about the first time she locked lips with someone. Here, she shares what she remembers and what she learnt about kissing that first-time round.
A friendly first kiss
Sometimes first kisses just happen, other times they are precisely planned. Lindy’s experience was a bit of both. When she was 15, she had her first kiss with classmate and friend Jake*, at the end-of-year social in year 10 at high school.
“Jake was a twin. We were a part of the same group of friends and were in most classes together, so were quite good friends. My other friend was kissing his twin brother that night – it had all been worked out the week leading up to the social”, explains Lindy.
Being nervous is normal
Lindy recalls being “so unbelievably nervous” before the kiss; a feeling that most people can relate to when it comes to their first kiss (or kissing someone they really like for the first time). Describing the kiss, she says it was “like a sloppy washing machine! I didn’t really understand what all the fuss was about. I only did it the once because it was right at the end of the night.” She adds that her first kiss taught her that “less is more!”.
In it together
“It was good that it had happened and that it was with a really nice boy. He had a little bit more experience than me but didn’t pressure me, and didn’t try and force me to keep kissing him.” As Lindy notes, it’s really important that you and the person you are kissing both want to lock lips. If you’re not sure, just ask them before you lean in for the big kiss. On the flip side, tell them if you’re not comfortable or don’t want to kiss them again.
Not like in the movies
“What was bad about it was that I had always imagined it to be like how it looks in the movies. Not so much the lead up but the actual kissing itself. This wasn’t like that at all. It was just lips and tongues everywhere and I couldn’t figure out why anyone would want to keep doing it!” As Lindy explains, movies can set an unrealistic expectation when it comes to first kisses – so don’t be too disappointed if it’s not perfect.
First kiss tips
“It’s ok to be nervous. Try and have some fun with it. And don’t be disheartened if it isn’t exactly what you pictured it to be. Everything takes practice, especially kissing.”
Lindy adds: “I had my first kiss at 15 but it wasn’t until I was 19 that I had my first kiss that I enjoyed. Everything before that was like finding my way in the dark. Once I had that first great kiss, I finally understood what all the fuss was about.”
Does kissing have any health risks?
Kissing is a low-risk activity, however, there are a few viruses that can be passed on by kissing – colds being the most common, so avoid kissing someone when they’re sick with a cold or the flu.
Also, whether it’s your first kiss or 15th – sometimes kissing can result in cold sores, which are small blisters that can appear on and around the lips and nose. These are caused by type one of the Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV-1). If someone has HSV-1 it can be passed onto another person through direct skin-to-skin contact such as kissing and oral sex, particularly when the virus is ‘active’ – meaning the sores are coming on or are present.
Cold sores are easy to spread, so if you feel a cold sore coming on or currently have cold sore blisters, avoid kissing and oral sex until they are healed (likewise, if the person you want to kiss has cold sores). Most cold sores go away after a few days. Speak to a pharmacist or doctor for advice on treatment. Cold sores are extremely common and are nothing to be embarrassed about – up to 80% of Australian adults are carriers of HSV-1.
*Names have been changed for privacy reasons.